I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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