Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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