Me too!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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