Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
vagina is talking i cant
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
