They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
