Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize