Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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