Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
