you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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