I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
