why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
