Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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