that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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