You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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