Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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