I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
