nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
