My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
