I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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