just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
