Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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