I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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