I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
