I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
