I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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