Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
