You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We were destined to go to rehab together
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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