So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
