we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
