I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
