He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
