At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
