I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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