I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
