He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
