There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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