when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
