sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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