Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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