I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
