you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
