moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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