He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
