My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
