I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
