She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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