if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Be still, my beating vagina.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
