I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
