I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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