Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
