the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
