she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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