So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
