My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
