the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
