How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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