clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
