It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
