First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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