My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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