i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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