First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
